Treating the migraine-ignorant like your racist grandma

We've all experienced it--the ignorance, apathy, and invalidation of our disease.  We meet people every day that simply do not understand.  From seemingly innocuous comments like, "So you get headaches?" to a more caustic tongue, "she just does that to get attention." I suggest we take a new tact in dealing with these folks.

So how to deal with the guy at work that jokes about your migraines?  The family member that makes snippy remarks when you're not feeling well at the holidays?  The boss that thinks you're just trying to get a day off work?

Treat them like your racist grandma.  Sure, she's racist.  She says horrible things that, out of any other mouth, would incite an argument.  But she's you're grandma and you love her.  And you let her get away with it, not because of that fact.  Rather, you let her get away with it because your long-standing relationship affords you a greater understand than you would have with someone off the street.  You know she's lived in a different time, grown up with different experiences, and formed a completely different world-view from your own.

You're showing a compassion and understanding for her perspective, even if she doesn't share your own.  Even if she's terribly wrong.  And this is the attitude I'm suggesting we cultivate with those who demonstrate their ignorance to our migraines.  Those who honestly don't understand what the word means.

I'm not saying that we shouldn't be assertive.  If there is something you need to prevent a migraine, or something someone is doing that might induce a migraine, it's time to stand up for yourself and your rights.  It can be incredibly productive and empowering.

I'm also not advocating that we shy away from education.  It's important to bring migraine-awareness to the national consciousness.  But for those who just don't "get it", I suggest we stop wasting so much of our time and effort on them.  

I'm just suggesting we take a more Zen attitude.  Treat them like your racist grandma.  When they say something stupid, just laugh, "oh, that's just grandma".  Smile in the knowledge that they just don't know any better.  After all, there's no sense in getting a migraine over it!